Nia: behind the magistry

not4profiteer @ 2009-06-26T03:33:00

2009-06-26T07:52:17Z

I really feel sorry for Michael Jackson. He really had a very lonely life in a lot of ways. I know there are those that would say "screw him; he was a child molester." And yes maybe he was. But if you look at his childhood and his upbringing; would you expect anything but a screwed up adult with serious emotional damage and issues? If you think about it his childhood and adolescence was a perfect storm of dysfunction. He had an extremely strict and abusive father. His Jehovah Witness upbringing gave him so really fucked up views on life; relationships; and sex. And to top it all off (as just those two alone would have created a fucked up adult) he was thrust into super stardom from the age of nine.

I saw this documentary on him once that did a sort of psychoanalysis of him. They told this one story about how his brothers set him up with this girl so he could lose his virginity when he was a teenager. But he was afraid to even kiss her as he really and truly thought that sexual contact before marriage would land him in eternal damnation. There were stories in the documentary of him often fearfully praying and crying even over his impure urges. Given all the stresses in his life MJ reacted by seeking out the time in his life when things were simpler and life was happier: his childhood. Children and childhood comforted him. So he surrounding himself with children and childhood things. He reverted as much as he could into that child realm. So it is no wonder that children may have eventually become a sexual arousal point for him. I'm not justifying it or saying it is right; but one could see how feelings of safety and emotional pleasure while being around children could progress into physical pleasure. He may be innocent of actual molestation; but I would bet that the very least his interactions were probably inappropriate to say the least.

So that is why I say I feel sorry for him. He was a man with seemingly everything; but he was so emotionally damaged he could never properly enjoy it. He became the eccentric weirdo and eventually the hounded and hated (former) idol. He had few people if any every really understand him. (His best friend was a mouse for God's sake!) He could never find solace in a normal human adult relationship; and the people he did feel comfortable with, children, were in so many ways tabu and out of bounds. In short he was a lonely man in a lot of pain I think; and I can't help be feel sorry for him, and glad that he can now find peace.

not4profiteer @ 2009-06-18T01:49:00

2009-06-18T06:28:45Z

So when I last posted I was about to head to my Church's Synod. The weekend was pretty good. I was VERY disappointed by the lack of agency reps that were there this year. Usually we have a bunch of agency reps at the Conference sharing what they do and talking with people. I was looking forward to this so I could give out my resume to the literally 20 or so nonprofits that would be there. But this year they changed it all around and pretty much no one actually sent human beings. The ED for National Lutheran Services was a key speaker; and I tried to talk to her, but to no avail. She had to leave right after her speech; so as she was finishing I scooted over to the area she would be in. I had to lose sight of her for about five seconds to get to her and in that five second she totally disappeared. I looked in the parking lot; in the hall; and even in the bathroom. I think she is a witch and she just apparated away. Our synod voted to recommend accepting the new social statement. Which while not huge was good. The main thing is that in teaching about love/marriage/family it talked the emphasis away from Genesis man and woman to focus on finding a loving and mutually respective partnership/union. And, of course, it reiterates that we as a church welcome everyone to worship with us. We, unfortunately, did not pass any of the recommendations. We had three: one to allow churches to recognize (not bless exactly) same sex unions; one that basically said we respect each other and our differing opinions; and one that said we will allow ordained officials and other church rostered leaders to be involved in committed same sex relationships. We used a committee of the whole session (a session that temporarily suspends formal rules to allow for free flow of discussion) for a bit and had some straw polls. And there was actually majority in favor of passing rec number one. But unfortunately we have this stupid continuing resolution that limits resolution submittal to before 5pm the first day. So the only resolution we had was one that said let's accept them all which was voted down. By the time the straw poll came around it was just too late to write another resolution; motion to suspend the rules; and get it in. But next time maybe we can have that just has the first recommendation on it. So in the end there were some small steps made; but nothing really changed; at least not yet. The National Church Conference is in August, MAYBE (big maybe) they'll vote more liberally. Ug some of the people there were so freak'n bigoted in their anti-homosexual beliefs. We actually had one guy get up and give a speech about how the gays are child molesters and deviants and the like. Thankfully those extremists are few and far between if vocal. The one good thing is that most of our anti-homosexual members are Ok with granting equal civil rights; they just have issues with reconciling their religious beliefs with homosexual practices. So at least they aren't discriminating all the time :) There was this one ass that got up and gave this big speech about how he could trace his ancestry back to the 1600's in Germany and that they have been Lutherans since Luther himself, so he should know.... blab.. blab..blab... and that he would leave the church if we ever allowed homosexuals to be ordained. I say good riddance. There were also some really emotional testimonials from homosexual/bisexual members and/or members with homosexual friends and relatives. One young woman, who is in a program we have where young people with an interest in becoming ordained can take on sort of internships with churches so they can discern if God is calling them into the ministry, and who also happens to be a lesbian, gave a really moving speech. I have mad respect for her. I can’t imagine going to seminary and becoming ordained knowing that they church you love and work for does not support your lifestyle. It's choosing between your calling and having ability to share love with another person. It has got to be very hard on her.

Other than that same old same old. My garden is beset with weeds. I just couldn't keep up with them. But that hasn't stopped the veggies from also exploding. My zucchini and acorn squash plants have taken over most of the garden pretty much cutting off any chance my eggplants had; but that is OK. My dill and carrots are doing well; and so are the tomatoes. I have TOO MUCH lettuce; but it is nice to have fresh greens. I just wish it would stop raining. I have a bunch of zucchinis growing; but some are starting to rot because it is CONSTANTLY raining! Geeze!

I got another part time job tutoring a second grader on subtraction for $30/hr two hours a week. It doesn't start til the 29th; and I don't envision it taking more than 8 or 10 sessions; but we'll see. It will at least be some pocket money.

Still okaying for a full time job.... job searching SUCKS. I am going to focus in DC again. I want to stay here; but there just aren't a lot of opportunities; so I will look in the DC area for a change of pace. I just want a freak'n job!

Strategic planning is actually going amazingly well. I got about 20 people at the first meeting; and most (all except three) stayed for the whole meeting. It was a total 180 from what I expected. I just hope the momentum continues. Our second one is in two weeks. The pre-work for this one was more involved so that is a mark against attendance; but this session also gives an opportunity to express strengths and weaknesses and I know the complainers will want to be there for that one! Hopefully I will be presently surprised again.

Well that is all for now.....

not4profiteer @ 2009-06-04T03:25:00

2009-06-04T07:29:20Z

I had one of the most amazing foods tonight; pita fries. No not the pita chips that are also delicious; pita fries. They look like steak fries; are made of pitas; and have this soft golden delicious crunch like fresh buttered and toasted bread. They were f'n AMAZING. I shared them with everyone at the table and everyone's response was the same: bite into the pita fry; open eyes wide in surprise of how delicious it is; and say "Oh my God those ARE amazing."

I wish I could make them at home....

not4profiteer @ 2009-05-29T23:20:00

2009-05-30T04:15:08Z

My life in between my last post and this one....

ESL: My teaching was supposed to stop at the end of May, but we have decided to continue the adult classes through the summer. To elaborate; the program is actually a home work help program for school age children which is run primarily for the purpose of giving VA Tech students a way to earn service learning credits. We also offer adult classes while this is going on so that the parents of the children can learn English as well. The adult classes are taught by me and another guy. We are (obviously) not VA Tech students. So in the summer there are not VA Tech students so no homework help. Originally we were going to stop the adult classes for the summer too; but we have the funding so we are continuing. I was going to do Tuesday and Thursday classes, but we I have temporarily lost two students (one is very sick and one is visiting family in Africa) for the summer and we decided that I would just do Tuesdays.

We had a huge party to celebrate the end of the year. It was awesome. We had African food and Somali Dancing. It was very crowded and NOISY having all of the children and adults in the community room. There were about 150-200 people in a room that really should only hold 125ish. Most of the people were under the age of 12 which made it even more interesting. We had some junk food and soda set up before the African Food and I have never seen that much food devoured so quickly as when we released the children to eat. They were like a hoard of locusts. I brought a HUGE bowl of popcorn that I had popped, and it was gone in under five minutes. It was crazy, but a lot of fun.

So we resumed the adult classes the next week. There was a lot of confusion as to what was happening (and there still is three weeks later). We get kids showing up wondering where the other teachers are. And not all the adults that usually show up have been showing up because they are confused as to whether or not there is class. And then there are some that are just too busy now that they Children aren't being babysat during class time. But I have two of my regulars and a few new ones. One of my new ones is a young woman that is attending medical assisting school and I have been helping her with her work. She is super smart and wants to one day be a RN. She plan on working her way up with each degree so she can support herself and pay her own way through school. Another is a high school student that is really smart and enjoys being challenged by the stuff I have. And this past week I just got another new student from the beginners group. She has freakishly accurate pronunciation and reading and writing if you tell her what to write. But she has real challenges comprehending or coming up with what to write on her own. But her grammar and spelling are great and way above a lot of the students. She had A LOT of trepidation about leaving the beginning group; and unfortunately I wasn’t prepared for her; so I only had some more challenging readings. But I think she will do well once we get working more on her level.

On of my regulars wants to focus on the citizenship test. They recently changed the tests now, though to requiring that you pass English comprehension and writing exams. They grade on pauses and overall length of time it takes you. Which will be the death of my student. He is really smart and can remember info and such; but his pronunciation lacks and his timing leaves a lot to be desired. He just isn't sure of himself and he takes forever to read things and longer to really comprehend them. Which is fine for me; but not for the INS. So we will be really hunkering down on reading quickly and accurately and also writing quickly. He is the same when it comes to writing. I felt so bad because I had to really level with him on those points and I know he was getting frustrated and down on himself when we were working on stuff. I encouraged and praised him every step of the way; but essentially it will always be a confidence thing. He is afraid to be wrong. But it's like I told him, if he doesn’t make the mistakes I can't correct them, and he can't learn from them. I'm hoping it will go OK for him.

My work on the Board goes fine. We are facing some tough decisions of some things. Essentially it comes down to definitions. We are at the point where we need to lay down specifics and definitions for our service population; but defining and labeling is hard for those on the Board that have mentally handicapped children and grandchildren. Understandably they hate labels and they also are afraid that they may have to essentially define their loved ones out of our programs. But hopefully we can figure it all out without stepping on too many toes.

My first Strategic Planning meeting with my church is Sunday. I am not expecting much. I doubt many people will show up beyond the ones that are required to. It makes me so mad when people complain, but then don't want to give any time into fixing the problem. And it didn’t help that when I was talking about the meeting last Sunday in the announcements section of worship and I mentioned that the meeting Sunday would be 1.5 to 2 hours in length that the pastor said "oh really!?!" This is an involved PROCESS that is going to take longer then fifteen minutes a meeting. I just hope it goes OK.

The garden is going well. I have more lettuce than I can handle. And my zucchinis are exploding from all the rain. My tomatoes remain meager, but there are actually some tomatoes on them now, and they have lots of flowers. Carrots and dill are growing along fine too. My poor eggplants though are getting eaten alive by bugs. It's strange; right next to them is the lettuce; a varitable field of delicious leafiness; but they remain untouched for the most part. hmmmm

Next weekend I will again be representing my church at our VA Synod yearly conference. It's like congress for our state's Evangelical Lutheran Church in America churches. We are dealing with the question of homosexual pastors and blessing same sex unions AGAIN this year. I just want to get up at the beginning and table the issue until next year, as that is all we will be freak'n doing ANYWAY. My brother is going too. He is the parliamentarian for this year. He said his church actually had a meeting to decide how his Church's reps would vote. My church doesn't do that. Though if half of them know how I was voting they would shot a brick I think. Sadly, I think we could probably make some sort of headway on the question of homosexuals in committed relationships as pastors; but in order to approve that measure we HAVE to approve the measure on blessing same sex unions. Our pastors HAVE to be married if they are living with someone/having sex and if someone is gay that means we have to provide them with a "marriage" of sorts if they want to be in their committed relationship AND be ordained. They could be ordained and be abstinent (as all unmarried pastors are supposed to be). Then we really have no problem with homosexuals as pastors. But if they want to live their lives and be happy with a partner and all; no ordination. The issue of blessing same sex unions is way more controversial than ordination of "practicing" homosexuals. With the later you can argue that if a person is called and a church feels called to accept them; then who are we to argue. But with the former the argument of individual church rights loses ground. Anyway, we're just going to be running in circles all weekend on the issue. People somehow think that if the VA Synod endorses either one of them that it means that individual churches will be forced to "marry gays" and "accept homosexual pastors. Really it's the height of irrationality. I just can't wait til the day when it's all behind us and we do the right thing and bless same sex unions and ordain homosexual clergy that are in committed relationships.

Yeah, so that is pretty much my life right now.

pleep blop bloop

2009-05-05T04:00:49Z

Life goes on.....

I was really hopeful about getting a fed gov job at the veteran’s affairs admin that was hiring a bunch of people, but I got an e-mail that basically said, "we had too many applicants and couldn't read yours. We give pref to vets and we had more than enough of them." So that sucks. It would have been nice too as it would have been a guaranteed at least 38k because of my good academic standing past. I am just exhausted when it comes to job searching. I HATE getting all psyched about some job and then not getting it, or getting REALLY close and then not getting it. Anyway....

One of my ESL students is going back to Africa for several months. I hadn't realized that his wife and children are still there and he hasn't seen them in two and a half years. Apparently his wife has some legal issues when it comes to having her immigration OKed. I was talking to the beginner level teacher and he said he had a lawyer friend working on it, but it really didn’t look good. I wonder what he can do if there is no hope. I mean that has to be a horrible situation. I wonder if he even has an option of going back. I mean do you stay and maybe bring your children over? Do you stay and let them stay and then just send them money? Do you go back despite the possible risks? I don't know his story, but he is from Liberia, a place of not so great political stability, and it could be that he just can't go back. It's an impossible situation. I hope she can get the issues figured out. He is such a nice man, and he is so smart and clever. He deserves a good second chance with his family.

My garden is meandering along. I am excellent at growing lettuce. Time will tell when it comes to the squash, carrots, eggplants, and other things. I still need to plant my herb pots and till and seed my flower garden. I'm not too late yet, but I can't wait too much longer. I was going to get most of it done Saturday, but I woke up with some really sore muscles (for some unknown reason) and I took one of my mom's muscle relaxers, and let me tell you I was out for teh count. I was SO EXHAUSTED. I couldn't even muster enough energy to cross the room. So that pretty much shot the productivity of my weekend.

Last Thursday I had an MRI for some shoulder pain. Usually I'm not claustrophobic but the position in I was in was very coffin-like and I DO have a fear of being buried alive, so I was freaking out a bit. But then I realized that I could twist my head to look above me to the opening on the end of the machine and feel MUCH better. So all was good.

Nothing much else going on. I am looking forward to summer movies. I went to see Wolverine Origins and was PISSED that Gambit didn't have a Cajun accent. I mean what's the fucking point then? Next is Star Trek, I may go see the Thursday showings. I am also pissed thought that movie prices at the theater i usually go to went up. I'm going to have to start going to the other one.

not4profiteer @ 2009-04-21T00:57:00

2009-04-21T04:58:30Z

It has been a busy week and a half or so and this week will be even more busy. And I was so looking forward to having time to work on Phil's puzzle game thing. Usually I have loads of free time with no job and all; but nearly every moment of the past week has been crazy and exhausting. This Saturday is our town's Dogwood Festival, and I am running the booth for my church; so this week will be absolutely crazy too. I can't wait til next Monday when I can hopefully sleep in/ get more than four or five hours of sleep.

In new news I got a new laptop. I was trying to hold off until I got a job; but my old one kept crashing, and the only thing that would start it properly was about five minutes of praying and crossing my fingers. So Last Tuesday I got a new one. It's and HP and I love it. It is a special model made only for Best Buy based off of BB customer feedback. It has good battery life, it's 4.6lbs (I think- under five definitely)and thin too. Which is just what I wanted. I hated lugging my old laptop around. It was too heavy and had too big of a screen. It was a nice computer; but really I like the smaller one much better. And it is pretty top of the line on all that important computing shit too. I was looking at one with a tablet function, but that didn't run off of Pentium, so I decided on this one that does. And it had a built in web-cam. That is a first for me. Not that I will use it though :) But I love my new computer. The HD screen is so pretty and bright. And it had that finger print scanner security function which I think it hilariously wonderful! And it is so quiet. My old lap top had reached the point that it was pumping out the decibels while operating. This one is super quiet. And I am even getting on OK with Vista. I had some initial problems while setting up my router connection. Apparently when you try to attach a Vista computer to a network that already has two XP computers on it, bad things happen. But it is all fixed now. But I am really liking Vista's side bar function with its fun apps. So new computer fun is at least something fun going on with all the slaving away at volunteer activities.

not4profiteer @ 2009-04-09T22:58:00

2009-04-10T03:17:44Z

I really enjoy Holy Week. Lent is my favorite liturgical season and Holy week is it's grand culmination. It is on Mandy Thursday and Good Friday that we see hear Jesus' most important sermons. We learn to have a servant heart in the washing of his disciples' feet. We hear that the new commandment God wants us to follow is to love one another, and that it is by this one action that others will know we are his disciples. It is on the Good Friday cross that we are shown what it is to truly be Christ-like. To forgive in the face of hatred when he cries "Father forgive them, they know not what they do." To be concerned with others even when he is under impossible pain. He has not eaten since the passover meal; he has been up all night; he was beaten and flogged; made to carry his own cross, and then nailed to it. Yet he still thinks of others asking for their forgiveness and making sure his mother is cared for. These two days have many lessons for Christians and I get more out of them each year.

Michelle Obama

2009-04-06T07:53:05Z

I'm putting on my SELDOM used feminist hat here....

I'm really getting sick of the media's portrayal of Michelle Obama, mainly the CONSTANT focus on her looks and her fashion. Now I don't mind them mentioning who she is wearing or saying something briefly about her fashion sense, but it seems like this is ALL THEY EVER TALK ABOUT; her clothing, her hair, her bare arms...... The excess of coverage got me thinking. Michelle Obama is a string woman in many sense of the word, and I think this threatens people. For the past eight years we have had a relatively uninvolved (politically speaking) First Lady. Laura Bush played the traditional hostess, background, soft issue role that we are used to having first ladies take. Literacy IS important, but hardly a political stretch. I think everyone can agree people should learn how to read. And though Michelle Obama is still setting her agenda it is sure to be one that takes some political stance/risk. So the media doesn't know what to do with this string woman and they solve this problem by framing her in the most trivial and feminine of lights, a fashion icon. They lesson her radical power by making a merely a sum of the labels she wears and the hair style and bare arms she sports. They attacked Hilary and turned her into a power bitch to belittle her, so I suppose it is nice that they are at least giving her a "positive" label. But still they are writing her off, and I am getting sick of it.

Perhaps every Sunday is Palm Sunday

2009-04-05T13:54:44Z

Just some thoughts as Lent draws to a close......

It was once said that every Sunday was Easter Sunday, but I think perhaps every Sunday is really Palm Sunday. Palm Sunday is the day that Jesus triumphantly rode into Jerusalem with the throngs hailing him as the King of the Jews, their savior. But then less than a week later he was crucified as a villain. On Sunday they sung his praises; but as the week progressed they forgot their proclamations and cursed his name. And every week we Christians do the same to some extent. On Sunday we celebrate the risen Lord and preach his love and forgiveness; but hours later we are back to being human, sinning, and tarnishing the memory of our Lord. So to me every Sunday is Palm Sunday.

I am VERY stupid

2009-04-04T09:48:14Z

So I just did something REALLY stupid. My toilet was filthy and I was getting sick of looking at it so I decided to clean it before I went to bed. I had some really old "The Works" which I sprayed in there. But it was old and didn't seem to he working very well. So i added some bleach. I didn't think much of it. I know you aren't supposed to mix chemicals, but I have probably added beach to other toilet bowl cleaners like a thousand times without incident. But this time there was something in "the works" that counteracted the bleach and it ended up producing a poisonous cloud in my bathroom. It didn't really smell; so I didn't notice the effects until several minutes later when i was coughing horrible and my lungs were burning. My bathroom gets really shitty air access. I flushed the toilet and ran into the other room; but I knew i needed to air it out. I was having problems breathing so I woke my parents up (at least having to live home again is good for something) and we (mostly my mom) set up some fans and opened doors and windows. I wasn't 100% but I wasn't bad enough that I thought I needed the ER so I waited a while to see if I was getting better or worse. After a half hour of sitting on the fence about seeing the doctor and a bit of internet searching; I called poison control. The lady was fabulous. She said I had created chlorine gas (and mercifully she wasn't all lecturey) and that as I didn't sound too horrible I probably didn't need the ER. She advised me to sit in the bathroom (not the gassed one) and create a hot steam bath with the shower and just breath in the steam for a half hour or so. And she offered to call back in an hour and check on me. I did as she advised and it helped a lot. I still am a bit short of breath and have some pain; but breathing is much easier and my lungs are more relaxed. So all in all I should be fine; embarrassed from being so incredibly stupid (even when I know better, but fine.

Also ironically my FB tarot card app's card for today is death..... :)

I actually have something to post!

2009-04-02T17:19:34Z

So last night I joined a nonprofit board.

It's called Katie's Place. It is still in the start up phase; but eventually the main goal is to have a residential farm facility for adults with mental handicaps and such. The only day care/ residential options now focus on training skills that are really sedentary or that aren't that motivational. The idea is that by working on a farm, working with crops and animals, they will be more active and gain skills that contribute to the community more and build their self esteem. Essentially they are doing more than sitting on their butts assembling things or learning how to mop and sweep. But as I said right now they are in the beginning stages. They (we) have received some grants and we are working on getting a VISTA worker.

My main push for now will be to get them involved in some sort of bridging activity. To get to the farm goal (even if it is just a day care farm) will take A LOT of capital and time. But it will be hard to continue to get grants and donations with "nothing to show" for it. People and greant makers want tangible investments and trackable outcomes. There needs to be something in the mean time to get that. So we are working on some sort of small scale garden or piggy backing on other farming based orgs that need volunteers; maybe taking field trips to them and volunteering for a few hours a week? Apparently, the horse rescue place needs much volunteers. With the economy being so shitty there are a lot of people who are abandoning their horses. One board member said that people are actually taking their horses to horse shows; waiting until a participant takes their horse out of the stall to show it; and then sneaking their horse into the stall and leaving it there.

April fools

2009-04-01T17:58:12Z

In case you are not on the young alumni facebook page....

http://www.wooster.edu/voice/index.html

not4profiteer @ 2009-03-30T03:14:00

2009-03-30T07:16:55Z

There isn't much to update so...

My cat instead

not4profiteer @ 2009-03-17T23:27:00

2009-03-18T03:36:44Z

The past few days I have been debating the merits of faith and religion on a forum that I am part of. I have always wondered as a Lutheran why our message of love and grace isn't a popular as other churches messages that rely more on repentance, punishment, and justice. It is clear from my conversations on the forum that some people just don't like the idea that we aren't rewarded in the afterlife based on how we act in our human lives. I for one am glad that we aren't. If we were heaven would be a rather lonely place. I find much more comfort believing in Romans 8: 38-9. (Paraphrasing) There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God. To me this is the good news.

Life meanders on. No big developments. I am still busy with my volunteer work and my ESL class. I got another student today. Now I have six. She seems pretty bright. It is interesting to see how different their cultural norms are. One of my students has four boys all eight and under. He wants at least one or two more (though he would really like a girl). Most of my students have multiple children at very young ages. The only exception is Mohamed who looks to be in his upper forties or early fifties and only has three children. Though he is from a very war torn area so maybe he once had more. He told me last week how he had to run through the fighting in Mogadishu to rescue his mother-in-law and bring her to safety. He said there were bombs and bullets flying everywhere. Every week I am reminded how incredibly lucky I am to be in America. I have my problems with this country, but I know I am blessed.

not4profiteer @ 2009-03-13T00:11:00

2009-03-13T04:24:42Z

Nothing much going on.

I'm still enjoying my ESL class. I have five regular students. They are all enjoying the lessons I come up with. We have been working a lot with diagramming sentences: going over the parts of speech and such. They do really well with adjectives and prepositions, but adverbs give them some trouble. Mainly they are just not familiar with the words. I usually have the write sentences from their own minds giving them certain parameters. For example: Use the template: The adj noun adverb verb preposition the adjective noun. They were not sure about their sentences at first but they are doing well now. Today I changed it up and we learned about the ides of March (with a story about Caesar to accompany) and superstitions. Apparently having a black cat (or duck or goat) cross your path is bad luck everywhere. My student told me it is quite common for people in Africa to actually run away from the black animal. I told them about how Tuesday was St. Pattrick's day and that they should wear green for good luck. I also warned them that I might pinch them if they did not.

Other than that my days have been fairly busy despite not having a job. I had to cover Thursday night classes the past two weeks so there was extra lesson planning. And I have a bunch of volunteer stuff with my church. As I mentioned I am doing the strategic plan. And there is also the plain old volunteering that comes along with regular church life. And there is always cleaning to do around the house and errands to get done. Tomorrow will be long. I get to go have fun at the DMV getting a VA license and titling and registering my car. There are so many freaking forms and required documents that I have to bring with me. And before I go in I have to get an state inspection (required in VA). So yeah bureaucratic fun! I am also going to try to fit in a hair cut and maybe color. I think I am going to stick with the red tones that are currently in my hair from the de-blacking. But we'll see.

not4profiteer @ 2009-02-26T01:03:00

2009-02-26T06:16:31Z

For those non-Christians out there. Lent started tonight. Lent is my favorite church season. It is the time I use to really reconnect with God and Christ. I love the self-reflection that Lent brings. Pentecost is too long and in the simmer it tends to lose meaning. Advent is all well and good but it is also coupled with the Christmas rush so there isn't enough time to really enjoy the season (or Christmas either). Epiphany is good; but again it is the beginning of the year and things can be crazy. Lent comes at a perfect time. It is in those last cold dismal months of winter when you are just tired of it all. You are beat from the frenetic pace of the past few months and you long for spring. Lent comes along and focuses you on the seriousness and the quiet. With it's focus on sacrifice and death it sets you up to fully appreciate the wonderful birth and resurrection of Easter and Spring. By encouraging self-reflection and reconnection with your faith it prepares you for the glorious triumph of Easter so you can properly appreciate and celebrate it. I love Lent. And I always love a song in minor the minor key too!

In other news I started teaching an ESL class on Tuesday nights. The other night was my first one. It was fun. I had three students, but I could have up to 6. They are all from Africa and are all very eager to learn. There is a bit of a big disparity between the lowest and highest student; so I'll have to plan around that. But all of them were great. I am teaching the intermediate class. They generally have a basic conversational fluency. Right now we are working with 1st to 2nd grade vocab and reading level. Over hearing the beginners class was cute. They were working on clothing vocabulary. Some of the students were really lost. (teacher)"These are Pajamas. Repeat after me; Pajamas" ..... (student) "Puhyamals" So cute.

not4profiteer @ 2009-02-25T02:08:00

2009-02-25T07:12:07Z

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/matthew_moore/blog/2008/04/15/gay_scientists_isolate_christian_gene

I love the satire. Though I do hate being lumped together with the fundamentalists.

Which brings me to another thought. I really hate the term fundamentalists being applied to Christians that have a more conservative/right wing interpretation of Christianity. It suggests that my interpretation (a non-fundamentalists interpretation) of Christianity is some how removed from the original. When really nothing is more removed than preaching hate. Jesus left us with one commandment: Love. Specifically Love God the father and Love everyone else as I (Jesus) have loved you. That is what I believe and it is way more "fundamental" to the catholic (little C) church than "hate gays".

not4profiteer @ 2009-02-19T01:15:00

2009-02-19T06:25:01Z

OK apparently I am sucky at updating on a regular basis. Not that too many of you out there care :). Anyway, I am all moved back to Roanoke and living in my parents' basement. GO ME! Hopefully I can get a job soon.

Not a whole lot going on other than looking for a job and settling in. I am back in the church choir which I really had missed being a part of. Tomorrow night i am making a presentation to the Church Council on Strategic Planning. The ELCA Synod wants all churches to have a strategic plan; but my church is super small and a lot of the people are stuck in the old way of doing things. Hopefully they will be open to what I present. The real challenge will be to have them see me as a professional and not just a congregational member with a idea or pitch. This is what I am trained to do. I take it seriously and I hope they will too.

also.....

2009-01-23T07:17:21Z

Because I want something from Michael......

The first five (5) people to respond to this post will get something made by me. It will be about or tailored to those five who respond first.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
⇒ I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
⇒ What I create will be just for you.
⇒ It'll be done this year.
⇒ You have no clue what it's going to be (but feel free to use your imagination)!
⇒ I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to put this in your journal as well, if you expect me to do something for you!

And you have to give me your address, so I can mail it to you. Unless you are local (or getting a visit soon) in which you'll get hand delivery.

(Oh--and I make no promises WHEN this year it will arrive. Be surprised!)

life in liminal

2009-01-23T07:14:45Z

Before I update: Happy BDay Jessica on Sat.

I know it has been forever. I don't really like doing a huge update. So I ill just sum up my current situation and move on from there.

I am moving back to VA next week. I couldn't find a job up here so I'm moving back home to cut costs until I can get a job. I came really close on one last week. It was down to me and another guy. He had more XP than I did so he got it. But the hirer said some really nice and encouraging things about me. So I am just hoping that the next time it will be my turn.

Right now I feel so listless. My e-mail address is life.in.liminal. I chose it years ago as I though liminality was a good description of college and grad school life. It was sort of delayed adulthood. But now I am really in the liminal, and I have been for seven months. I am sick of the liminality. I want so desperately to move forward. What I wouldn't give to live in a culture with clearly defined rites of passage. You turn a certain age; do a certain ceremony or trial; and boom you are an adult, or warrior, or whatever. Perpetual liminality is horrible. Maybe I can use the move as a new starting off point. But realistically it will only function that way if I can get a job relatively soon. If not it is just another liminality. The location will have changed; but the situation will be the same.

Late night ramblings

2008-12-17T06:53:31Z

What in your opinion is the world's most beautiful word?

Are you a fan of cellar door like the characters in Donny Darko?

Me, I love timshel. It is perhaps the most powerful word ever constructed. Timshel, as any true Steinbeck fan will tell you, is Hebrew for "thou mayst". It is used by God when he is talking to Cain before sending him to the land of Nod. He tells Cain that he may triumph over sin; not that he will or he won't but that he may. Oh the power of one word. Timshel puts the power on us. It is up to us to live our lives how we may. Timshel gives us the choice to believe or to not believe. It gives us the choice to do good or do bad. It is the word of free will.

Timshel is a word of triumph. As Steinbeck says choice is what makes a man a man. Timshel is what drives our souls. One can't help but be optimistic when thinking about the meaning of the word.

Visiting.

2008-12-16T00:01:00Z

I went down to see Erin this weekend. I wanted to make sure i saw her before Christmas. We had s good visit. Driving down was hell. I had heard there would be lake effect that day, but it wasn't supposed to head too far south. I wanted to stop at Wooster on the way down to return some library books and visit my friend Mark. The snow was more nasty to closer i got to Wooster. And 83 was just horrific. There was a NASTY accident on my way down. One car was totaled and the other was being propped on its side in a ditch also totaled. I had a great visit with mark though. And once I got past the Ashland area the weather was MUCH better. I also got to see Betsy and Sarah for a girls night on Saturday. Erin made a very tasty chicken dish. Betsy gave me the present of some wonderful blooming tea. I haven't used it yet but I plan on it later. And Sarah gave me the most delicious hot coco gift package. And it came with this super cute and tiny whisk. Thank you to both of you again. Before our little get together Erin and I did some Christmas shopping. And we had some delicious Japanese food. (baby octopus so cute and delicious)Sunday we thought of seeing Milk but didn't make it to the theater on time. So we just got some coffee and talked before I headed back to Cleveland.

The Largest Update Ever!

2008-12-07T05:50:58Z

Here is what I have been up to the past three weeks.

I went down to visit my Brother and his family and Meg and Jeremy before my Model UN conference in Chicago. My other brother who is normally on the road for Thanksgiving (he works in traveling theater- well not any more nut up until recently) has a new job with the revival of West Side Story which is debuting in DC for a few months before going to Broadway. So he is in DC for a while. And since my other brother and his wife and son live in Northern VA we decided to have thanksgiving there. My conference gets out the day before Thanksgiving and it just made more sense for me to fly to Chicago out of DC that way I would return to DC and not have to hassle with driving from Cleveland to DC with very little sleep after conference. Anyway that is why I was in the DC area before Conference.
Visiting with my family was great. My nephew is as cute as ever. He’s at that age where he has to show you everything. When I went to the basement to do laundry he followed me and he showed me the washer, but he couldn’t remember what you called the dryer. “I can’t remember what this one is” he said. I told him it was the dryer to which he replied, “Right, that is where we dry things.” I then asked him if he knew how to use the washing machine. He answered, “Not quite.” SO CUTE. He is also a little devil. On Thanksgiving when we were hanging around the house and joking around he told me that the lady on the TV said “Nia is weird.” And most of the next day he kept calling me peanut head.
I had a great time with Meg and Jeremy. Due to their schedules I had Monday with mostly just Jeremy and Tuesday with mostly just Meg. Jeremy and I went to the new Newseum. I had been to the old newseum (news museum) and it was AWESOME; so I was excited to see what the new one would be. It was amazing too. I highly recommend it. Meg and I went to see Changling on Tuesday. It was a great movie. Then we did some shopping and had dinner before I headed back to my Brothers.
I hate the new airline baggage rules. When I go to conference I usually have two checked bags. Conference has high clothing demands as you need both casual and business attire for a whole week. And I usually have to bring along research and such. I flew North West which charges $15 for one bag and $35 for the next and $50 if you bag weighs more than 50lbs. Well of course my one bag was stuffed to the gills and weighed 58lbs. Luckily on the way to Chicago the lady was very nice and waved the fee. On the way back I wasn’t so lucky. But on my second leg I got upgraded to first class so that made up for some of it.
Conference was great. I was a little unsure of what to expect from being on Simulation Staff; but once the ball got rolling I was fine. Which is good because it went from a rather dull start to a bombardment of activity when the Council called four parties to the dispute at once. So we had to prep them and do all the other crap too. It didn’t help that we had a rather weak Council. Most of the problems came from the USSR. We were doing 1967 and our late night “crisis” revolved around the Six Day War. But our USSR team wasn’t quite grasping the whole Cold War mindset. They wanted all of their actions to be measured and approved by the consent of most of the Council. We were like: it is 1967; you are the USSR; you don’t have to go through the formalities that other nations may have to. The BEST was when I was talking to the male partner about moving some troops into Egypt. Israel had invaded Egypt and some UN peacekeepers were accidentally being killed by both sides. So Egypt was claiming that all of their actions were in defense of the peacekeepers. So Russia was going to send in troops to “help” them protect the peacekeepers and if they were later needed for other more offensive actions then so be it. So I told the guy from the USSR that he could send in 2000 troops but I needed to know where he wanted to place them as the remnants of the UN peacekeepers were spread out in various pockets across the west bank. His was one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. He told me that since Egypt would be in a better position to figure out where and when the troops were needed the USSR would give command of their troops to Egypt. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! I tried to Socratically move him away from this; but it just kept coming back to having Egypt control their troops. We also had a map scandal with them. As we are sort of re-writing history all info and maps have to go through the simulation staff. They had an unapproved map and were trying to distribute it to the rest of the Council. I literally had to yank it from her hands at one point before she could accomplish sharing it with everyone else. She was a bit pissed; but really if she HAD succeeded then we would have had to leak info to the US and the UK that Russia was supplying fake maps to the council and then we would have had to alter the maps that she was sowing around and then pass them to the US and the UK as the “real” maps, which would have been messy and would have pissed her off even more. They weren’t the only problems though. Overall no one really knew what they were doing. But I think most learned a lot and will be much more adept next year if the return (most do). But our crisis was a total FAIL. We would have sit a brick if they had managed a simple cease fire. When all was said and done Israel had taken the Sinai and was on its way to over take Damascus. The crisis session officially goes from 1am to 6am. That is where we were at 6am. As soon as it was over though my partner and I did simulation staff damage control and deemed that the USSR sent in troops to Damascus to pushed the Israeli forces back across the border. But still our Israel was MUCH larger than the real Israel.
Outside of my “work” I had a blast. I got to know some staffers that I had previously not had much contact with. We had great funny conversations about dehymenators and poop. The best though was my interaction with a fellow sim staffer named Justin. Justin is an old pro at sim staff and he claimed that it was his job to “haze” me as I was a newbie. Unfortunately for Justin I ended up getting him way more than he got me. The best was during the training time before conference. Most of the other department use this time to train their workers. But sim staff uses it to do prep work for the conference. Just was working on concurrent security council and he was looking up info on the Somali pirate situation. He thinking out loud and said something about hearing that there was going to be a pirate meeting but he didn’t know where. I looked over and said “They’re meeting in Tortuga.” I was thinking he would get the joke. But instead he said something like, “Tortuga. Thanks Nia you just went up in my book by 2 points.” A few minutes later (after some internet surfing) he said out loud, “Man I wish I could find when the meeting is taking place; Nia do you know when they are meeting on Tortuga?” “Why no Justin,” I replied. “I’m not sure when that meeting on Tortuga is taking place as it is a FICTIONAL PLACE.” (I think it IS actually an island somewhere but definitely NOT off the horn of Africa) I totally Burned him. Later on I placed a personal add in our conference newspaper that said; “Justin, I have some land in Florida that I would love to sell you.” Justin was just too easy.
Thanksgiving was good. We went to a restaurant as there was no way that all of us would have fit in my Brother’s place or that they could have managed a big thanksgiving dinner. The restaurant had a special Thanksgiving menu that was limited to a four course meal where you picked from several options for your courses, and it was served family style so as a table you had to decide what you wanted. The food was great and there was TONS of it. We were STUFFED with what they originally brought out and then they brought out a whole new round of food. We literally had a huge shopping bag full of take home containers. The deserts were amazing though. They had a chocolate cake so rich and wonderful that if I ever needed to torture someone I would make them eat a whole piece of it. I was in pain after half a piece.
After Thanksgiving I headed down to Roanoke with my parents to see my cat and their dog and visit friends down there. It was a nice respite. On Tuesday I headed back to Cleveland and I have been playing catch up.

this will make your day

2008-11-14T15:09:39Z

If you need a laugh check this out. It is too adorable for words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFfZlEpjuhU

I suppose it is time for an update post

2008-11-13T06:28:18Z

So the past few weeks...

On the 1st I went to my cousin's Halloween Party Wedding. It was great. A lot of people came all decked out in their Halloween finest. The ceremony was very beautiful. The pastor had some great words which I later found out were from a book that the author of 'All I need to know I learned in Kindergarten" wrote on relationships and marriage. Thankfully the weather was nice. It was an outdoor wedding and holding an outdoor wedding in Western PA in November is a risk. It did get rather cold near the end, but it wasn't entirely unbearable. The reception was fun. Just like a costume ball. The Cake was all decked out in Dia De Los Muertos fashion and they cut it with a dagger. I have some pics which i will have to post of Facebook at some point. Earlier in the day I got to see Karl for a few hours. We met up at the halfway point for us and had lunch. It was a little odd going into public in my costume, but thankfully I didn't get too many stares. And seeing Karl again was worth it :)

The past couple weeks I have been consumed with Model UN preparations. I leave for conference next Wednesday, but I am traveling in the DC area before that starting this weekend. I am going to visit with family and the Meg and Jeremy. Maybe I'll get to see Jessica and Nino too? So I have been CRAZY busy making sure I have my shit together before then. I am terrified that i am going to leave a key document or source or something else here and not be able to get it. And I HOPE that the reps don;t give a crap about the Vietnam War. I mean honestly the Security Council wanted nothing to do with discussing the war; it was a VERY contentious issue; just the procedural vote to add it to the agenda raged on for days. But for some reason several of the delegations have included Vietnam stuff in their position papers. Vietnam is the topic I am least prepared for. I mean really there is SO much else they should be talking about. And SO much else I am WAY better prepared for. So I am hoping that they will realize Vietnam is a mute point. I think Rhodesia, The Six Days War, and maybe Nigeria will keep them busy. Anyway, that is pretty much what i have been up to, AMUN prep. The rest is still the same.